Sunshine floated wistfully through the window of the fifth story apartment and was unceremoniously sliced into equal pieces by the eggshell coloured plastic blinds that were just present enough to cut up the light rays, but useless enough to still let the beam glare directly over Jack’s eyes as he tried to sleep. His first thought was a question as to why the sun was waking him up instead of his alarm clock. As he slid his lids open and swatted at the light rays like a playful kitten, in hopes he might be able to knock the beam away, he focused on his alarm clock. For just a moment, and only a moment, Jack thought the digital display indicated the phrase “fuck you” on its face, but in reality only announced it was 1:42 PM. Jack had been unemployed for the past three months.
His alarm clock had been working about as hard as he had in that time.
Jack shifted to the right and managed to find a spot he thought would reprieve him of the beam of light trying to get him up at this ungodly hour. He lay his head back down and was about to close his eyes as another slash of sunlight fell over his eyes like a very very confused blindfold.
“Son of a bitch,” Jack murmured.
Pun intended. Entirely.
He decided that fate, or at least the sun, wanted him to be up for some reason. It was never a good sign when fate got involved, or the sun for that matter, because that meant Jack was going to have to do something. If he could’ve just slept through the day he would’ve been safe, but now he had to move.
Jack stared at himself in the bathroom mirror and debated heatedly with his tussled brown hair about whether he should shower or not. Of course he didn’t literally converse with his hair. But he couldn’t have conversations with his mouth, they’d never get along.
Mouth would always think Jack was looking down his nose at mouth every time Jack spoke. It wouldn’t work.
At least with hair Jack could talk peacefully and hair could follow his strand of conversation, show some emotion and curl in disgust at Jack’s various lazy tendencies, and sometimes would even lock him in conversation so long that he would forget to do some important things, like mop the floor. A hairy situation, indeed sometimes, and this was one of those times. Jack was kept staring in the mirror so long that he didn’t have time to get into the shower. The decision was made for him.
There was a loud booming knock at his front door. Impatient fists slamming into the wood construction alternating left and right. Jack knew this for a fact, because he knew exactly who knocked on his door like that all the time.
“Coming, Barry,” Jack muttered, barely audible to himself, and therefore inconceivable that Barry all the way at the front door and outside, sound being entirely muffled and destroyed by distance and the wooden blocker, could have heard Jack’s voice.
“Okay,” Barry replied, and stopped knocking.
Jack sluggishly found a red shirt and jeans, putting them on as quickly as the sin of sloth would allow...which isn’t very fast at all...if you were wondering.
Just as he finished dressing, Jack heard a thunderous crackling of wood and then the dull thud of something hitting the ground flatly, air rushing out from under the object forcefully and rudely, the sound of air particles cursing at the inconvenience like a New York cab driver who just missed a fare because he hit a bike messenger, killing him instantly via a windshield to an incredibly ineffectual blue, with thin white stripes along the side—to make it look “faster”—helmet, allowing a cranial fracture of such grand proportions that the messenger couldn’t possibly be alive enough to contemplate the issues involved with a mangled 3000 dollar bike which he bought with money he got for Christmas from his mother—Joanne, lovely lady—and his subsequent loss of a job for an unfortunate lack of a replacement bike.
Meaning, the air was inconvenienced.
The door hit the ground really loudly and Jack heard it in his room.
With mild surprise Jack left his room and went to investigate the noise. At the front door he found a short, red haired, man with just enough freckles to be deemed cute, as opposed to was-standing-too-close-to-a-screen-door-whilst-someone-was-throwing-shit-at-it-from-the-other-side-esque, by his peers. If he had peers. Unless you count Jack as a peer. In which case, he had peers.
This was Barry. He was lying atop the fallen door with ruptured hinges and shattered wood. He was pulling himself to his feet as Jack entered. Jack looked with dead green eyes, still a bit squinted from sleep, down at the smitten door which separated his world from that of the world out in the hallway, which was subsequently separated by other doors with other worlds on the opposite side, but more on that later. Jack looked up from said separator of worlds and then looked upon Barry, destroyer of separators, and said in no uncertain terms, “Hey Barry.”
“Jack. I have news!” Barry exclaimed joyously, oblivious to the door, but used it as a standing space quite comfortably.
“Is it about a door?” asked Jack.
Barry paused, taken aback by the non-sequitur, “No.”
“Too bad,” Jack said, looking down at the defeated door and then back at Barry. “I’m in the market for one.”
Barry looked down at the door and then back at Jack, after a while said, “I can look into that for you if you like, but what I have to say is way more interesting than that!”
“Go on,” Jack said.
“Aren’t you going to invite me in?” asked Barry. As if insulted by Jack’s breach of some kind of protocol known only to Barry.
Jack looked around the room and gazed upon Barry pointedly. “I think you’re pretty much in, Barry, already.”
Barry sighed and rolled his eyes. “I know I’m in the apartment. I mean like in, you know? To sit down, maybe offer a drink?” Barry held up his index finger on his left hand. “Also, I have a sliver, could I have a bandage for that?”
Jack looked again at the decimated entryway blocker and then back again at Barry. “Where’d you get the sliver?”
“Oh, I’m working on a likeness of Jeff Bridges, you know, from The Last Unicorn?”
Jack wasn’t sure where to start with that one. From the very bottom he could’ve asked why he chose to reference Jeff Bridges with one of his incredibly lesser known roles when he could’ve easily said The Big Lebowski, Tron, or Iron Man, or for that matter why he was doing a likeness of Jeff Bridges but said “from The Last Unicorn,” which was an animated film and couldn’t possibly showcase the face of the man Barry was trying to describe should Jack have been unaware of whom it was Barry was referring to.
Jack decided just to keep it general. “Why?”
“Why Jeff Bridges?” asked Barry.
That worked. But Jack wanted to keep it even more general in this case. “No, why are you making a likeness out of wood?”
“Well, the last time I tried to use clay and that just ended up being one big bust, so I learned from past mistakes and decided to try wood!”
“I see,” Jack said, inaccurately as any statement could be spoken in the history of statements. Ever. “Well, come in, water?”
“Please.”
Jack poured water from the tap into a plastic cup that was left on the counter and handed it to Barry as he sat at the kitchen table. Barry took a drink and gave the water a sour expression. “Was there vodka in this cup at one point?”
Jack tried to remember what he had used the cup for last night but couldn’t. That was probably as good a sign as any that it had probably been indeed filled with vodka.
“Probably.”
Barry put down the cup and suddenly locked Jack with an intense stare. “Jack. I have news.”
“You mentioned.”
“Yes, and here it is: I have found a job for us!” Barry appeared incredibly excited, and Jack, to his credit, appeared more bewildered than his usual impassionate stare.
“Us?”
“Yes,” Barry replied, short of hopping up and down and clapping excitedly.
“A job?”
“Have found.”
Jack started. “What?”
“Oh, sorry,” Barry said, “I thought we were playing a game, you kept saying pieces of the phrase I said before so I thought you were starting some kind of impromptu word scramble game.”
“What kind of job, Barry?” asked Jack.
“Well, I figured since you’re, you know, kind of good at everything, right?”
This wasn’t an exaggeration. Jack was in fact good at everything. This was an unusual skill passed down on his father’s side of the traditional French family, as all male members of the d’Alltrads family were incredibly adept in many things. Jack d’Alltrads inherited this ability especially, along with his father’s sociopathic tendencies and self-destructive nature, as well as, pleasantly enough, his mother’s thin and severe lips, which enjoyed, as mentioned, being looked down at via the nose as much as his mother herself had, proud woman that she was.
“So I thought we would make great assassins!”
Jack was silent for a moment, and then raised his hand. “I have a question.”
“About being assassins?” asked Barry.
“Unrelated.”
Barry shrugged. “Okay.”
“Why did you break down my door?” asked Jack.
“Oh,” Barry said, suddenly understanding, “that. You see, I thought I heard you say ‘come in, Barry’ after I knocked, so when you didn’t let me in and the door was locked I thought you might be disoriented or in danger, so I broke in! After realizing immediately the misunderstanding, I thought it best to avoid the ensuing awkwardness by playing it up like it didn’t happen.”
“Thoughtful, it almost worked. Can I give you a pointer for next time?”
“Of course,” Barry replied, listening intently for feedback.
“Don’t bring up your likeness of Jeff Bridges being made out of wood; it brings a person’s mind too close to the wooden door lying destroyed on the floor.”
Barry winced. “I knew I was treading dangerously with that one!”
“It’s fine. Next time.”
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
TRANSIT LUX, UMBRA PERMANET
(Alright, so for anyone still reading this here blog, I've thrown together a short story/intellectual drinking game...yeah...I know. Anyway, here's how you play, everytime you catch some sort of veiled reference to Christianity, drink. And because it's an "intellectual" drinking game, the more analysis you use (read: bullshit you make up) the more you drink!)
***
Emerald eyes stared inquisitively around the room, inquisitive with just a hint of serious watchfulness. Impeccable white fur lay softly layered across the cat’s entire body, as if prepared by a professional stylist. The look of magnificence was complimented by the bright pink collar around a gracefully puffed up neck, which on a bigger feline would be more recognizable as a mane. The collar had an equally fashionable golden circle connected to it which had on it engraved a name. The golden plate announced that her name was Augustine. And this morning Augustine was dressed to kill, as she always was.
Augustine perched on her wooden table and kept a watchful eye over the kitchen, as had been her routine every day for four years. It was at that moment that the watchful gemlike eyes caught sight of something that they hadn’t ever seen before. Her perfectly groomed fur bristled and her pretty eyes narrowed. Behind a green and yellow porcelain cup, which embodied a stylized coiled snake that was smiling very amiably, stood a small furry white creature. Twitching nose and beady black eyes stared around the serpentine cup, and stared right at Augustine.
With feral instincts taking over so quickly, fear of the unknown and surprise were forgotten. Augustine dug her back claws into the wood of the table savagely for momentum, and then sprang forth with deadly intent, contradicting her demure appearance. She ignored the silverware that plummeted to the floor from the counter as she charged forward with unreal balance and grace. She barrelled directly into the snake shaped cup and knocked it aside, seeing the mouse run along the counter to her right. Turning to give chase, she lost her way and knocked over a glass container which shattered and sent its contents across the counter with a dark flourish. The black instant coffee powder immediately stuck to Augustine’s coat, and consumed the sheen her white fur usually exuded. She stopped momentarily to try to lick the substance off, but the bitter taste made her falter. With the equivalent of a feline cringe of distaste, she turned her attention away from the dark substance. Augustine’s powerful olfactory senses offered her no reprieve from the odour.
The tainted prey which had so intruded her territory leapt from the counter, thinking it was safe, and stood static on the kitchen floor below. Peering from the countertop above, Augustine’s once shining green eyes appeared murky, and the black substance that covered her fur only exemplified her shadowy manifestation.
With a soft guttural growl she pounced, and fell with fiery intent toward the mouse.
First, her deadly claws drove into the creature, and then her pointed teeth followed suit. She bit the mouse and tore at it until the venomous creature’s lifeblood ran from it completely and it breathed its last. Somewhere in her feline brain, she had always been curious about the taste of blood.
Curiosity killed the cat.
***
Emerald eyes stared inquisitively around the room, inquisitive with just a hint of serious watchfulness. Impeccable white fur lay softly layered across the cat’s entire body, as if prepared by a professional stylist. The look of magnificence was complimented by the bright pink collar around a gracefully puffed up neck, which on a bigger feline would be more recognizable as a mane. The collar had an equally fashionable golden circle connected to it which had on it engraved a name. The golden plate announced that her name was Augustine. And this morning Augustine was dressed to kill, as she always was.
Augustine perched on her wooden table and kept a watchful eye over the kitchen, as had been her routine every day for four years. It was at that moment that the watchful gemlike eyes caught sight of something that they hadn’t ever seen before. Her perfectly groomed fur bristled and her pretty eyes narrowed. Behind a green and yellow porcelain cup, which embodied a stylized coiled snake that was smiling very amiably, stood a small furry white creature. Twitching nose and beady black eyes stared around the serpentine cup, and stared right at Augustine.
With feral instincts taking over so quickly, fear of the unknown and surprise were forgotten. Augustine dug her back claws into the wood of the table savagely for momentum, and then sprang forth with deadly intent, contradicting her demure appearance. She ignored the silverware that plummeted to the floor from the counter as she charged forward with unreal balance and grace. She barrelled directly into the snake shaped cup and knocked it aside, seeing the mouse run along the counter to her right. Turning to give chase, she lost her way and knocked over a glass container which shattered and sent its contents across the counter with a dark flourish. The black instant coffee powder immediately stuck to Augustine’s coat, and consumed the sheen her white fur usually exuded. She stopped momentarily to try to lick the substance off, but the bitter taste made her falter. With the equivalent of a feline cringe of distaste, she turned her attention away from the dark substance. Augustine’s powerful olfactory senses offered her no reprieve from the odour.
The tainted prey which had so intruded her territory leapt from the counter, thinking it was safe, and stood static on the kitchen floor below. Peering from the countertop above, Augustine’s once shining green eyes appeared murky, and the black substance that covered her fur only exemplified her shadowy manifestation.
With a soft guttural growl she pounced, and fell with fiery intent toward the mouse.
First, her deadly claws drove into the creature, and then her pointed teeth followed suit. She bit the mouse and tore at it until the venomous creature’s lifeblood ran from it completely and it breathed its last. Somewhere in her feline brain, she had always been curious about the taste of blood.
Curiosity killed the cat.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Inception Review
Oh Inception, the ridiculously hyped and super awaited follow up to Chris Nolan's 2008 Dark Knight. Inception is written and directed by Nolan, and as such is another brain-bender by the man who brought us mind-fuck movies such as Memento and The Prestige. Inception is very well-written and the writing is backed up by a very strong cast, with equally strong performances by everyone involved. Leo DiCaprio stars as the very obviously troubled Cobb, a man who specializes in something called "extraction." Which is the art of invading someones dream to uncover very valuable secrets. It is hinted at that this form of Cyber robbery is generally bank-rolled by major corporations and people with a lot of money, and in this world of mind-robbery, Cobb is the best. He has a very talented and professional partner-in-crime, Arthur, portrayed by Joseph Gordon-Levitt in one of my favourite roles by him in a long time! Rounding off the cast is Ellen Page as the architect Ariadne, Tom Hardy as Eames, who is basically a dream shape-shifter, Ken Watanbe as a very powerful man who employs Cobb for the film, Dileep Rao, in his third feature film to date, as Cobb's technical help/science whizz, Marion Cotillard as Mal Cobb, Cobbs (crazy?) wife, and Cillian Murphy as Robert Fischer Jr. the focus of the films major heist.
The plot of the film revolves around Cobb trying to pull off one last major heist in order to make his way back to his home in the States and perhaps more importantly, his family. This last heist comes with a twist however, instead of Extraction he is asked to perform the near impossible Inception. Inception is the thought (pun intended) of planting an idea instead of stealing one and is believed to be impossible, but you later learn that is has been done once and once only, conveniently done by Cobb himself years earlier. The basic plot has been done before but that is the only part of the story that can be considered done before, as the plot thickens Nolan takes you on a mind-bending and very pretty journey through the minds of the main characters.
The story deals with some very confusing ideas but one of the best parts of this film (and a huge testament to the very strong writing) is that you never really get lost in the story. Nolan does an amazing job of walking you through this very complicated concept of Extraction and Inception, using team new-comer Ariadne to explain all the concepts to the audience, and not once does this seem forced, instead it absolutely works well with the story-line of the film. The action does not pick up in this film until about half-way through (first half is dedicated to explaining Exraction and Inception), but once it picks up it does not slow down once as Nolan takes you on a wild-ride through the subconscious.
There are some awesome action scenes in the film as the team battles it's way through the many "levels" of the subconscious, meeting the human minds many defenses along the way and having to fight their way through every moment of it. This causes a very tense hour and a half of the movie, but not only is it tense it is very well done and very fun the entire time. There are some awesome "money shots" as well. If you have seen the trailer than no doubt you have seen the city folding onto itself, that part is impressive in trailers but even cooler in the actual movie. This movie is definetely a major blockbuster and has all the makings of one, good action, some great laughs, a few really really really cool moments and strong performances all around.
Perhaps one of the best part of this film, other than all of the awesome moments in it, is the depth of the characters. Nolan does a great job of making you care for these characters, even though many of them (especially Cobb) are very flawed. There is just as much arguing and tension between the team of heroes, as there is tension between the team and the villains. This causes for some good nail-biting moments and a whole lot of fun throughout the film.
To top it all off is the main emotional story concerning Cobb and his wife (ex-wife? Who knows but these are some of the best parts of the film, and hard to explain). These moments lead up to a twist of sorts concerning Cobb's relationship with his wife that personally I did not see coming, but was very cool and explained a lot once it did happen!
Despite all this positive praise, the movie is not perfect. I did say that almost all characters are well thought out but the key word there is almost. Dileep Rao gives a good performance but his character feels too much like a stereotype, he has some fun moments but so much more could have been done with this character!
The only other problem with this film does not necessarily have to do with the film itself, but rather the hype surrounding it. This movie was definetely over-hyped, I expected to see the next absolutely perfect summer blockbuster so I was slightly left down when i saw it. That was my first reaction, but having watched it again quite recently I realized that even though it was over-hyped that fact should not take away from what is a really fun, really well-done summer action flick!
Inception is a very well-written movie (probably its strongest asset) it is a very entertaining flick as well! It features strong performances from all of the major characters and features a very entertaining twist-ending. It is not a perfect movie but it is not a movie that should be ignored. If you enjoy Nolan's previous mind-bending flick such as Memento and The Prestige than this is a movie people should definetely check out! This movie is above all, fun (as you have probably guessed by my generous use of that word throughout the article) and there are enough "woah" moments that will have you riveted throughout! A must-see for someone who wants a bit of intelligence with their explosions and gunfights!!
(P.S. I wrote this review after it had been announced that Tom Hardy was going to be playing Bane in the upcoming Batman movie by Chris Nolan so i could not stop imagining him injected with venom and trying to kill the Batman!!!)
The plot of the film revolves around Cobb trying to pull off one last major heist in order to make his way back to his home in the States and perhaps more importantly, his family. This last heist comes with a twist however, instead of Extraction he is asked to perform the near impossible Inception. Inception is the thought (pun intended) of planting an idea instead of stealing one and is believed to be impossible, but you later learn that is has been done once and once only, conveniently done by Cobb himself years earlier. The basic plot has been done before but that is the only part of the story that can be considered done before, as the plot thickens Nolan takes you on a mind-bending and very pretty journey through the minds of the main characters.
The story deals with some very confusing ideas but one of the best parts of this film (and a huge testament to the very strong writing) is that you never really get lost in the story. Nolan does an amazing job of walking you through this very complicated concept of Extraction and Inception, using team new-comer Ariadne to explain all the concepts to the audience, and not once does this seem forced, instead it absolutely works well with the story-line of the film. The action does not pick up in this film until about half-way through (first half is dedicated to explaining Exraction and Inception), but once it picks up it does not slow down once as Nolan takes you on a wild-ride through the subconscious.
There are some awesome action scenes in the film as the team battles it's way through the many "levels" of the subconscious, meeting the human minds many defenses along the way and having to fight their way through every moment of it. This causes a very tense hour and a half of the movie, but not only is it tense it is very well done and very fun the entire time. There are some awesome "money shots" as well. If you have seen the trailer than no doubt you have seen the city folding onto itself, that part is impressive in trailers but even cooler in the actual movie. This movie is definetely a major blockbuster and has all the makings of one, good action, some great laughs, a few really really really cool moments and strong performances all around.
Perhaps one of the best part of this film, other than all of the awesome moments in it, is the depth of the characters. Nolan does a great job of making you care for these characters, even though many of them (especially Cobb) are very flawed. There is just as much arguing and tension between the team of heroes, as there is tension between the team and the villains. This causes for some good nail-biting moments and a whole lot of fun throughout the film.
To top it all off is the main emotional story concerning Cobb and his wife (ex-wife? Who knows but these are some of the best parts of the film, and hard to explain). These moments lead up to a twist of sorts concerning Cobb's relationship with his wife that personally I did not see coming, but was very cool and explained a lot once it did happen!
Despite all this positive praise, the movie is not perfect. I did say that almost all characters are well thought out but the key word there is almost. Dileep Rao gives a good performance but his character feels too much like a stereotype, he has some fun moments but so much more could have been done with this character!
The only other problem with this film does not necessarily have to do with the film itself, but rather the hype surrounding it. This movie was definetely over-hyped, I expected to see the next absolutely perfect summer blockbuster so I was slightly left down when i saw it. That was my first reaction, but having watched it again quite recently I realized that even though it was over-hyped that fact should not take away from what is a really fun, really well-done summer action flick!
Inception is a very well-written movie (probably its strongest asset) it is a very entertaining flick as well! It features strong performances from all of the major characters and features a very entertaining twist-ending. It is not a perfect movie but it is not a movie that should be ignored. If you enjoy Nolan's previous mind-bending flick such as Memento and The Prestige than this is a movie people should definetely check out! This movie is above all, fun (as you have probably guessed by my generous use of that word throughout the article) and there are enough "woah" moments that will have you riveted throughout! A must-see for someone who wants a bit of intelligence with their explosions and gunfights!!
(P.S. I wrote this review after it had been announced that Tom Hardy was going to be playing Bane in the upcoming Batman movie by Chris Nolan so i could not stop imagining him injected with venom and trying to kill the Batman!!!)
4 Tom Hardy "I Just Woke Up With This Beard" Beards out of 5
True Grit Review
True Grit Review
True Grit, not the 1968 Novel by Charles Pointer, not the 1969 adaptation of that very same novel, starring John Wayne in a role that won him an Oscar, no this review is of the Coen Brothers amazingly crafted remake/adaptation of this story. Not only is this movie a great Western (a genre slowly being brought back to the fore) it is a great comedy, tragedy (at times) and a great action flick!
Jeff Bridges steals every scene as the drunk, but dependable (occasionally), Reuben “Rooster” Cogburn, the same role that won Mr. Wayne his Oscar in 1969. Hailee Steinfeld stars as the 14 year old Mattie Ross, on whom the story revolves around, I would like to point out that Ms Steinfeld is only 14 and this is her first full-length feature film, and she is phenomenal, but more on that later. Matt Damon steps outside his comfort zone in this film to play the hilarious, but always proud Texas Ranger LaBoeuf (pronounced LaBeef for extra hilarity). The other major role in the film is the outlaw John Chaney, who is the focus of the story; he is played by Josh Brolin who is no stranger to Coen Brothers Western themed movies, as he starred in their Noir/Western No Country for Old Men.
Hailee Steinfeld was spectacular, she plays the educated and intelligent Mattie Ross, a girl who is much smarter than her 14 years would normally suggest. For her first film, Steinfeld is breath-taking, she plays pretty much every emotion an actor would need to know how to use, and does it very well. She portrays sadness, anger, jealousy and she does it while not once breaking down despite everything. Mattie Ross is a ridiculously strong character and the Coen Brothers cast her role perfectly, this girl is going to be a force to be reckoned with in the upcoming years in Hollywood.
Matt Damon, as LaBoeuf, puts on his action hero boots, play a Texas Ranger, who is all too proud to inform you that he is a Texas Ranger. Every chance he gets, “Well, In Texas….” And the rapport that develops between LaBoeuf and Cogburn is great, resulting in many awesome one-liners and the majority of the comic relief throughout the film. LaBoeuf seems too proud for his own good at first but by the end of the film you are routing and caring for his character as much as Mattie Ross and Rooster.
Josh Brolin as the outlaw Tom Chaney is not in the movie much even though the story revolved around chasing down and capturing (or killing) his character. Brolin is strong, as usual, and his few scenes are quite entertaining. Chaney fancies himself a man who has just drew a bad lot in life, despite his love for the devil drink and gambling and the fact that he rides with the notorious outlaw Luck Ned Pepper.
All of the characters are very strong in this flick, all portrayed very well, but characters can only get you so far, what about the other facets of the film? Well just like the characters, the plot, the setting and the camera-work throughout the movie are picture perfect, showing that the Coen Brothers know how to entertain, and entertain very well.
The Movie is beautiful, stunning even, showing some truly breath-taking shots of Oklahoma and the Indian Territory that our merry band of travelers journey through on their wild goose chase for Chaney. The Coen Brothers do that sate proud, showing the varying terrains and environments that make up the Oklahoma countryside. Some of my favorite parts in the movie come from the Coen Brothers very strong writing. They make the language very proper, which I feel is very accurate for the very later 1800’s and some of the funniest parts of the movie come from the proper writing. Especially, for instance, the distinct lack of contractions throughout the film. The fact that people say things like Do Not, or Will Not, instead of don’t or won ‘t makes for very interesting, and sometime hilarious dialogue.
Finally, the plot. True Grit is an amazing story in my opinion even without the Coen Brothers usual attention to detail and level of polish the story of True Grit is a good one. It is a tale of revenge and redemption and the Coen Brothers handle it beautifully. Young Mattie Ross is grief-stricken after the murder of her father by the hands of a man named Tom Chaney. Mattie Ross’ father took Chaney in, gave him a place to stay and some employment and Chaney thanked him with a bullet. Mattie Ross does not think that the law will take the appropriate actions necessary and sets off to find a man with “True Grit”, a man who will do what she thinks is necessary in order to bring Chaney to justice. That man is Reuben Cogburn, a US Marshall who is more willing to take in criminal’s dead, as opposed to alive. He is the man with "True Grit" that Ross is looking for, perfect for tracking down the dangerous Tom Chaney. Along the way they meet Texas Ranger LaBoeuf, who is also tracking down Chaney, but for different reasons. Their reasons for capturing Chaney do not match but they make an uneasy alliance in order to capture this dangerous criminal. The unlikely trio set off for the Indian Territory, a territory Cogburn knows well, and during their adventures encounter a Whiskey-smuggling ring, poisonous snakes, dead bodies, men wearing bear hides and many other colorful people and places. Their patience for each other will be tested absolutely, everyone involved comes into conflict with their own demons and figures out something important about themselves, and the end of the film wraps everything up very nicely.
As you may have noticed from my extra long review, I really enjoy this movie. I think that this is my favorite movie from 2010, it not my number 1 from this year than easily top 3. I think that this movie has a little something for everyone; it blends many genres, but presents itself as a Western. This is a movie that should not be missed or ignored and I can only hope that come award season this movie receives the recognition I clearly believe it deserves!
5 Epic as Shit Bear-Skin Wearing Man Beards out of 5
(Ha-ha that is a confusing Beard to describe, but when you see the film, you will know exactly who I am speaking of when I say Bear-Skin Wearing Man)
Monday, January 17, 2011
Review: 127 Hours
For those who have not heard of this movie it is the true story of Aaron Ralston who is a hardcore mountain climber/adventure enthusiast who finds himself literally stuck between a Rock and a Hard Place when, after a stumble while climbing, found his arm caught between a rock wall and a small boulder for around 5 days (127 hours!!) when climbing in Utah.
This movie is another film by Danny Boyle, acclaimed director behind such films as 28 Days Later, Trainspotting, Sunshine and Slumdog Millionaire. If you have seen any of these movies you know that Boyle has a distinct visual style, especially when things start to get real intense (quick cuts, weird music, weirder camera angles), his visual style is abundant throughout this film, particularly whenever Aaron's situation seems rather dire. Mr. Ralston is played by James Franco, and played by him rather well if i do say so myself.
Franco does a phenomenal job of being Aaron Ralston, the one scene that totally sold me happened very early on (when his hand got stuck) the reaction of Franco when his hand is stuck is probably the most human reaction i have seen in a movie in a very long time. It starts of with him staring with disbelief at his predicament, that leads to Ralston starting to panic and trying to dislodge the rock, that eventually leads to defeat, all in the case of about five minutes. These five minutes were some of my favourite in the film because of how human Franco portrays the reaction, he had a reaction that i feel many people would have if they found themselves in this situation, its a great human moment in this film.
Now while Danny Boyle and James Franco both do fantastic jobs of taking you through this journey i do not think that this is the transcendent experience that many critics were saying it would be. Don't get me wrong, this movie is a perfect length at 1.5 hours, and i was entertained the entire time but I do not think that this movie was better than Buried (for example, I also reviewed this movie last week) which was a very similar film in the sense that it was a one-man show about a person in a ridiculously extreme situation. Buried was great because it was essentially a thriller with Ryan Reynolds face as the focal point, but more importantly you did not know what was going to happen. I knew what this movie was eventually going to come to (if you remember this story from 2003 than you know what I am referring to) and that knowledge did two things, 1) it created a good amount of suspense; but at the same time 2) it made me sick to my stomach, knowing what Ralston was eventually going to do and what was going to come up on the screen.
The first half-hour before he gets trapped by the boulder is extremely well-done, showing the kind of person Ralston is but also keeping you on edge because you have the knowledge that soon he will be trapped, the "how" caused me much suspense and had me completely reeled-in. Once the incident happened and he was actually trapped the rest of the movie had me wondering, when is he going to do it? It was great for adding suspense but at the same time knowing what was going to happen left me with a pit in my stomach, because it is one of the single most intense acts committed by a real person i think.
The last 20 minutes of the flick is a deranged odyssey and look into Ralston's starved and thirsty mind and shows how close he was to going crazy in his stone prison. Than the moment happens, the moment that the entire flick has been leading up to. The scene in which this takes place is approximately 5 minutes or so but it was one very disgusting, completely fucked-up scene, one which i do not think i will ever watch again, but one that was necessary for the plot (obviously, considering the stories source). After this moment (which i will not recite for those who do not remember the story) the last few minutes of the film are incredibly cathartic. Those last few minutes are very essential to the plot of the film because without it that movie would have ended on an overtly intense tone, one that would have worked with the movie but would not have been as great as the actual ending.
The last few minutes are a perfect way to end the story, it shows hope for Ralston while at the same time serving as a caution for up and coming mountain climbers. Ralston will be forever reminded of his experience in Utah and the ending of the film reflects this, even showing Ralston today with his family, which was a brilliant touch in my opinion. That being said, the last half-hour of 127 Hours made me feel exhausted and sick to my stomach at the same time, not in a necessarily bad way either, it was just incredibly intense and sickening at times. The ending, as with the rest of the film, is very well-done, with an exceptional performance by James Franco and with some absolutely gorgeous shots by Danny Boyle, but that doesn't stop it from leaving me a little shaken and disturbed.
127 Hours is a very good movie. The story is very powerful and meaningful and could teach some people a thing or two about being an adventurer as well as being a good person to those who mean the most to you! This is another great film by Danny Boyle, a great performance by James Franco and all-in-all a very good movie. Be warned though, it is not for the faint of heart, the last 30 minutes is not meant to be light, it is meant to be very intense, and it delivers, sometimes i felt it was too intense however!!! Either way this is a very good movie in a year of good movie and should not be tossed aside by people, if you are interested in the story and like Danny Boyle's previous work, see this movie, but never forget that it may leave you very shaken once the film has concluded!
This movie is another film by Danny Boyle, acclaimed director behind such films as 28 Days Later, Trainspotting, Sunshine and Slumdog Millionaire. If you have seen any of these movies you know that Boyle has a distinct visual style, especially when things start to get real intense (quick cuts, weird music, weirder camera angles), his visual style is abundant throughout this film, particularly whenever Aaron's situation seems rather dire. Mr. Ralston is played by James Franco, and played by him rather well if i do say so myself.
Franco does a phenomenal job of being Aaron Ralston, the one scene that totally sold me happened very early on (when his hand got stuck) the reaction of Franco when his hand is stuck is probably the most human reaction i have seen in a movie in a very long time. It starts of with him staring with disbelief at his predicament, that leads to Ralston starting to panic and trying to dislodge the rock, that eventually leads to defeat, all in the case of about five minutes. These five minutes were some of my favourite in the film because of how human Franco portrays the reaction, he had a reaction that i feel many people would have if they found themselves in this situation, its a great human moment in this film.
Now while Danny Boyle and James Franco both do fantastic jobs of taking you through this journey i do not think that this is the transcendent experience that many critics were saying it would be. Don't get me wrong, this movie is a perfect length at 1.5 hours, and i was entertained the entire time but I do not think that this movie was better than Buried (for example, I also reviewed this movie last week) which was a very similar film in the sense that it was a one-man show about a person in a ridiculously extreme situation. Buried was great because it was essentially a thriller with Ryan Reynolds face as the focal point, but more importantly you did not know what was going to happen. I knew what this movie was eventually going to come to (if you remember this story from 2003 than you know what I am referring to) and that knowledge did two things, 1) it created a good amount of suspense; but at the same time 2) it made me sick to my stomach, knowing what Ralston was eventually going to do and what was going to come up on the screen.
The first half-hour before he gets trapped by the boulder is extremely well-done, showing the kind of person Ralston is but also keeping you on edge because you have the knowledge that soon he will be trapped, the "how" caused me much suspense and had me completely reeled-in. Once the incident happened and he was actually trapped the rest of the movie had me wondering, when is he going to do it? It was great for adding suspense but at the same time knowing what was going to happen left me with a pit in my stomach, because it is one of the single most intense acts committed by a real person i think.
The last 20 minutes of the flick is a deranged odyssey and look into Ralston's starved and thirsty mind and shows how close he was to going crazy in his stone prison. Than the moment happens, the moment that the entire flick has been leading up to. The scene in which this takes place is approximately 5 minutes or so but it was one very disgusting, completely fucked-up scene, one which i do not think i will ever watch again, but one that was necessary for the plot (obviously, considering the stories source). After this moment (which i will not recite for those who do not remember the story) the last few minutes of the film are incredibly cathartic. Those last few minutes are very essential to the plot of the film because without it that movie would have ended on an overtly intense tone, one that would have worked with the movie but would not have been as great as the actual ending.
The last few minutes are a perfect way to end the story, it shows hope for Ralston while at the same time serving as a caution for up and coming mountain climbers. Ralston will be forever reminded of his experience in Utah and the ending of the film reflects this, even showing Ralston today with his family, which was a brilliant touch in my opinion. That being said, the last half-hour of 127 Hours made me feel exhausted and sick to my stomach at the same time, not in a necessarily bad way either, it was just incredibly intense and sickening at times. The ending, as with the rest of the film, is very well-done, with an exceptional performance by James Franco and with some absolutely gorgeous shots by Danny Boyle, but that doesn't stop it from leaving me a little shaken and disturbed.
127 Hours is a very good movie. The story is very powerful and meaningful and could teach some people a thing or two about being an adventurer as well as being a good person to those who mean the most to you! This is another great film by Danny Boyle, a great performance by James Franco and all-in-all a very good movie. Be warned though, it is not for the faint of heart, the last 30 minutes is not meant to be light, it is meant to be very intense, and it delivers, sometimes i felt it was too intense however!!! Either way this is a very good movie in a year of good movie and should not be tossed aside by people, if you are interested in the story and like Danny Boyle's previous work, see this movie, but never forget that it may leave you very shaken once the film has concluded!
This film deserves 4 Aaron Ralston, small mustache + goatee combo beards out of 5!
Friday, January 14, 2011
Bull-Shit Rising University Costs
Yes, this is most certainly an issue that has been beaten to death, but now its my turn to punch the dead horse a few times! Basically, UNIVERSITY IS TOO GODDAMN EXPENSIVE!!
This particular bout of anger at my fine scholarly institution (University of Guelph for those that don't know and car) comes from trying to purchase my textbooks this semester. Thus far i have already dropped 275 dollars of books, i am less than half-way to buying all the required books for my classes, seriously i calculated how much it would be in total and its going to be between 550 and 600 dollars. 600 dollars just for textbooks, granted I am taking a 6th course with would add more money, BUT one of my courses is online, with NO textbooks. My problem is when a prof just kind of arbitrarily assigns multiple textbooks for us to purchase, it makes sense that they need to do this if the appropriate info is in multiple texts, than multiple texts are necessary, i get it, that doesn't mean it sucks any less!
In my situation, as a person who is pretty much putting himself through college, multiple textbooks is the BANE of the beginning of the semester. I have one prof who it putting his texts on course reserve, he assigned two but told us in class that it is a very expensive set to purchase for those who are monetarily challenged (myself included) so he would make it available to us through the library, which is free thankfully. He is a nice guy, assigning a 160$ book set but making it available free, awesome, i appreciate that. Another prof assigned two books, one of them is used for 1 out of the 12 weeks of class, seriously, i am spending an extra 50 bux on a book for one fucking week, this is annoying because the regular text is 140$ ALONE!!! That is a ridiculously expensive book and its like 300 pages only, its a rip-off.
Even though I am basically putting myself through school, should i need to (and i most definitely will) i can call my parents and ask for help, which i have done so I am okay, but in a time when most people consider a University degree basically a necessity for a good career aren't some people just getting screwed left right an center? When University is this expensive for books alone what about tuition, well let's see, i am in a regular Bachelor of Arts program, majoring in History, so i have a fairly cheap tuition basically only paying for my classes, i don't have any lab fee's or fun costs like that. My tuition all said and done is $3 100, that's expensive, but it could be worse. My tuition 2 years ago in my first year of Uni was 2900, that is a 200 dollar raise in two years at this rate its going to be ridiculous....fast.
OH WAIT, it already is ridiculous. A good friend of mine is an Engineer at the University of Guelph, they pay just over 4000 dollars or so (not sure exact amount but between 4000 and 4500), that is more than a grand more than my tuition, that's expensive but makes sense because they pay for the use of labs and some pretty fun high-tech equipment. My same friends brother who is an Engineer in his first year THIS YEAR, so same damn program as my first friend but this year, is paying over 5000 dollars, he is paying over a grand more than my first friend (over 2000 more than me) yet he is doing EXACTLY the same thing as friend 1. He is getting FUCKED, wanna know whats worse? Right now at UofG they are renovating a bunch of Engineering buildings, this means that friend 1's brother is paying way more than friend 1 and not getting all the access to the fun toys that Friend 1 had in their first year.
Look, my point is that Post-Secondary school has become ridiculous, and this is Canada, lets not even get into how bad the United States is. As it stands right now, after completing 2.5 years of school (starting my other .5 to bring it to an even 3) i am 11 000 dollars in debt, but everything is pretty much paid off right now, in my opinion I am in a pretty good position for finishing up school with debt, but not a ridiculous amount of debt! That being said i will not be able to pay for next year with my saved money as it currently stands, i WILL need another line of credit from the bank, hopefully just a 7000 dollar line of credit but that still brings my debt up to almost 20 000 dollars. (I'm guessing it will be 20 000 after books and shit).
I feel like once University is finished for me i will be in pretty good standing, i will have finished 4 years of school and made off with only 20 000 dollars in debt to the bank, could be SO much worse!!!!!! If you look at the flip-side one last time, I have been VERY lucky, with my parents, my jobs, my saving (and i am a terrible saver, i like spending money on shit lol) i have been able to make it through 3 years with only 11 000 in debt to the bank, I guarantee within 10 minutes of canvassing the school you will find someone who is much worse off than I am. With my degree too (i consider it a trivia degree) i truly feel like i am spending all of this money just to essentially pay for a degree from the school. Its a bit depressing to think of it like that but its true, and it truly fucking sucks!
Basically, rising University costs suck ass, but there is not much we can do about it, if you want to be considered "a step above" because you have a University degree go right ahead, sadly however you will find yourself waist-deep in debt and with a degree that SO many people also have. University is fun, but damned expensive and unless you have an elderly benefactor to bankroll your education or decide to turn tricks in order to pay your way through schooling, i truly wish you Good Luck. If you can come out of your schooling without debt i highly commend you, it is difficult but it definitely can be done!!!
Anyways, i have rambled on enough! Have a good week peoples and don't let the big bearded dude in the sky get you down!!!
This particular bout of anger at my fine scholarly institution (University of Guelph for those that don't know and car) comes from trying to purchase my textbooks this semester. Thus far i have already dropped 275 dollars of books, i am less than half-way to buying all the required books for my classes, seriously i calculated how much it would be in total and its going to be between 550 and 600 dollars. 600 dollars just for textbooks, granted I am taking a 6th course with would add more money, BUT one of my courses is online, with NO textbooks. My problem is when a prof just kind of arbitrarily assigns multiple textbooks for us to purchase, it makes sense that they need to do this if the appropriate info is in multiple texts, than multiple texts are necessary, i get it, that doesn't mean it sucks any less!
In my situation, as a person who is pretty much putting himself through college, multiple textbooks is the BANE of the beginning of the semester. I have one prof who it putting his texts on course reserve, he assigned two but told us in class that it is a very expensive set to purchase for those who are monetarily challenged (myself included) so he would make it available to us through the library, which is free thankfully. He is a nice guy, assigning a 160$ book set but making it available free, awesome, i appreciate that. Another prof assigned two books, one of them is used for 1 out of the 12 weeks of class, seriously, i am spending an extra 50 bux on a book for one fucking week, this is annoying because the regular text is 140$ ALONE!!! That is a ridiculously expensive book and its like 300 pages only, its a rip-off.
Even though I am basically putting myself through school, should i need to (and i most definitely will) i can call my parents and ask for help, which i have done so I am okay, but in a time when most people consider a University degree basically a necessity for a good career aren't some people just getting screwed left right an center? When University is this expensive for books alone what about tuition, well let's see, i am in a regular Bachelor of Arts program, majoring in History, so i have a fairly cheap tuition basically only paying for my classes, i don't have any lab fee's or fun costs like that. My tuition all said and done is $3 100, that's expensive, but it could be worse. My tuition 2 years ago in my first year of Uni was 2900, that is a 200 dollar raise in two years at this rate its going to be ridiculous....fast.
OH WAIT, it already is ridiculous. A good friend of mine is an Engineer at the University of Guelph, they pay just over 4000 dollars or so (not sure exact amount but between 4000 and 4500), that is more than a grand more than my tuition, that's expensive but makes sense because they pay for the use of labs and some pretty fun high-tech equipment. My same friends brother who is an Engineer in his first year THIS YEAR, so same damn program as my first friend but this year, is paying over 5000 dollars, he is paying over a grand more than my first friend (over 2000 more than me) yet he is doing EXACTLY the same thing as friend 1. He is getting FUCKED, wanna know whats worse? Right now at UofG they are renovating a bunch of Engineering buildings, this means that friend 1's brother is paying way more than friend 1 and not getting all the access to the fun toys that Friend 1 had in their first year.
Look, my point is that Post-Secondary school has become ridiculous, and this is Canada, lets not even get into how bad the United States is. As it stands right now, after completing 2.5 years of school (starting my other .5 to bring it to an even 3) i am 11 000 dollars in debt, but everything is pretty much paid off right now, in my opinion I am in a pretty good position for finishing up school with debt, but not a ridiculous amount of debt! That being said i will not be able to pay for next year with my saved money as it currently stands, i WILL need another line of credit from the bank, hopefully just a 7000 dollar line of credit but that still brings my debt up to almost 20 000 dollars. (I'm guessing it will be 20 000 after books and shit).
I feel like once University is finished for me i will be in pretty good standing, i will have finished 4 years of school and made off with only 20 000 dollars in debt to the bank, could be SO much worse!!!!!! If you look at the flip-side one last time, I have been VERY lucky, with my parents, my jobs, my saving (and i am a terrible saver, i like spending money on shit lol) i have been able to make it through 3 years with only 11 000 in debt to the bank, I guarantee within 10 minutes of canvassing the school you will find someone who is much worse off than I am. With my degree too (i consider it a trivia degree) i truly feel like i am spending all of this money just to essentially pay for a degree from the school. Its a bit depressing to think of it like that but its true, and it truly fucking sucks!
Basically, rising University costs suck ass, but there is not much we can do about it, if you want to be considered "a step above" because you have a University degree go right ahead, sadly however you will find yourself waist-deep in debt and with a degree that SO many people also have. University is fun, but damned expensive and unless you have an elderly benefactor to bankroll your education or decide to turn tricks in order to pay your way through schooling, i truly wish you Good Luck. If you can come out of your schooling without debt i highly commend you, it is difficult but it definitely can be done!!!
Anyways, i have rambled on enough! Have a good week peoples and don't let the big bearded dude in the sky get you down!!!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
US_ARMY's Game of the Year 2010
Now that the year has come to an end, and we look forward to the new year of 2011, I sat down and took the time to analyze many of the big titles from the year, with hopes of choosing an overall winner. Be sure that everyone listens to the official DLB-network podcast, where the entire team was able to make their own picks for the year. I was not able to make that show, so here is my take on the year. I was able to narrow down the year to my favorite 8 games, which is in no particular order. Follow the link to read the rest of the article.
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